Women’s Stories: Part 15

  • Growing up I was always told how large my breasts were. By the time I was 15 my bra size was a 34 DD. I am currently a 36 DDD, and occasionally I have to order a size F through the Victoria Secret website (where I can find the only bra that fits me comfortably). First off I am not overweight, nor have I had any surgery to get my breasts this big. I honestly blame my mother, and her mother before her. In high school I had the biggest trouble finding things that fit me right. I wore a low cut top once and was told I looked like a “slut” by my peers. Then on I would wear button ups in hope to hide my breasts and would beg my mom for a breast reduction. She would laugh and say “people pay good money for boobs like those”… this didn’t help. When I turned 20 my back started hurting, the weight of my breasts caused me to slouch all the time, and my posture really isn’t that great. It was on one random night that I was feeling my breast and I found not one but 2 lumps. When touching them they hurt extremely bad… I cringed and began to cry. I told my mom something didn’t feel quite right and we set up an appointment with my physician. My doctor looked concerned and told me I was too young for a mammogram but I could receive an ultra sound. Walking to the ultrasound room was the longest walk of my life and the waiting room was hell, just thinking of all the possibilities. I thought to myself “what if it’s breast cancer?…what if they cut them off?, what if I can never breastfeed my future children?…What if I die?” I instantly regretted anything negative I had ever said about my breasts. Before I walked into the room my mom said “Don’t worry I am sure it is nothing.” I then was asked to remove all my clothing from the waist up and lay down with one arm up above my head. The ultrasound tech told me there was in fact two lumps in my left breast and I would get a call from my physician before the end of the day to tell me what it was. I went home, stood in front of the mirror and squished my breasts as flat as possible and cried. Turns out I may have been over dramatic about the whole situation. I received a call and discovered the two lumps were cysts. This was actually a relief and my doctor told me we would keep a close eye on it but I did not need to get the cysts removed. Three years later…yes they are still there and they only hurt when pressed on. But I am healthy and I have my boobs and I will forever appreciate them.

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